Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
how does that bad decision feel?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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