I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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