wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I want her autograph on my taint
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
