she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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