i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
