dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
