Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
tell me about the fingering
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