This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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