break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
