Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
