ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
