Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
