I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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