I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Holy sore nipples Batman
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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