bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
