the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
