It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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