Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
