Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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