Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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