She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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