I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
