i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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