just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
