Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
