ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
