After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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