What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
