the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
