I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
