I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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