Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
