He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
did i walk over a car last night?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
