he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
