He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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