Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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