Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We just shotgunned beers for America
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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