Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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