Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
