This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? đđ
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I should have known it wouldnât work. Someone saved in her phone as âSubway Sexâ called the week before the wedding
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