By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
