I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you had me at cake vodka
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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