woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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