I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
