I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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