She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
