Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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