piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
