If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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