he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
